I called these starter rules because, well, they seem somewhat insignificant, but they actually do help for a start. Babe and I had to ...
I called these starter rules because, well, they seem somewhat insignificant, but they actually do help for a start. Babe and I had to sit and brainstorm before rounding it all up to ten. We tried to make them as unselfish and as fair as possible. Initially they seemed like they were quite useless and uncalled for, but over the past week, we've had more use for them than we can admit.
Not to keep you waiting any longer than necessary, I'd better start on the first 10 rules (aka starter rules) for every serious relationship. If you are in a casual relationship, you are welcome to use these too.
Rule #1
If you guys have plans to go out and an argument ensures, you are to postpone the argument till you are back.
This one is quite straightforward, actually all the rules are, but this is the most straightforward of them all. Maybe, maybe not. If there's a plan, you guys are about going out together, and somehow an argument about something totally unrelated creeps in, you have to cross it out in your hearts of hearts, go out and have a good time. And then when you are back, if you still remember and feel like going back to the argument, at that moment, you are allowed to.
Rule#2
If one person is already angry, the other person isn't allowed to be angry till the other person is completely done being angry.
This arises from my insistence that two people shouldn't be angry at the same time. So when Babe is pissed, no matter how hard it is, I tuck in my anger and remain as calm as possible until his fire is burned low. If I really can't take it, I out rightly ask him to be done with his anger so I can start mine. It makes him laugh really hard. Lmao.
Rule #3
Pick a side of the bed and always stick to it. Prior permission must be taken before laying on the other person's side.
Babe has a way of hugging the whole bed space (not complaining, it's cute on the contrary). But I just had to bring in this rule (my body was getting sore from sleeping on the cold ground night after night). I cataloged it under my bedroom etiquettes, which by the way, Babe calls "bedside flight tickets" because according to him, I make "etiquettes" sound like "air tickets". How annoying can someone be? Anyways, I made him pick a side and stick to it. Now I can actually claim a right to a bed side space and resist every form of emotional blackmail firmly.
Rule #4
Chores aren't meant for one person alone. There should be fair division of labour.
So we shared the chores, both at his place and at mine, and just like the bed space, we stuck to it. I do most of the cooking, all the washing and cleaning. He does the arranging. Every other stuff, we both get off our ass and do them together. No ojoro.
Rule #5
Be willing to compromise on personal preferences.
This is my absolute favorite rule. Love isn't always enough in a relationship, compatibility plays a huge role. I'm hardly compatible with my sisters who I've been with all my life, talking less of any other person in the universe. So one of the ways of staying compatible is compromise. I don't eat onions, so we limit the use of onions in our cooking. He doesn't eat fried food, so I grill or steam instead. He learnt the function of the toilet seat and in turn I gave up using my perfume as a general air freshener. He forces me to work out, I force him out of bed to read at night. The list goes on and on. It's all about compromise.
Rule #6
Physical abuse ain't allowed.
Under no circumstances should there be hitting or anything that would physically harm the other person. I should add emotional abuse to this too. There should be respect and humility at all times. You are equals, accept it or leave it.
Rule #7
So is snubbing and keeping stuff to heart.
I'm the Queen of SnubbVille. This was an especially specific rule for me. While I'm one of those rare people who forgive in an heartbeat and genuinely forget thereafter, I'm a pro in the snubbing industry. It's not healthy for a relationship. So yeah, I let it go. And you should too. And if you know you are not past it yet, chill... .take your time.. . Learn to forgive and wholly let it go, no matter how long it takes.
Rule #8
And flirting too.
It's not okay to be flirtatious with other people. No checking them out or talking obsessively about them (even celebrities), no no no. I'm a really jealous partner, except it's okay with the other person, some things should just be let go.
Rule #9
Don't be in a relationship and act all single.
And by acting all single, I mean your status updates, personal chats, conversations... Everything! Don't tell people you are single. Don't lead them on to think you are single. Don't give your number to that dude/girl that is obviously interested. Just don't, don't, don't. Don't act all single.
Rule #10
Never lie.
Under no circumstances should you lie (except it's for a good cause like you are planning a surprise party or something). You don't have to impress people to stay with you, the ones that truly love you will stay, they won't need to be convinced. And you should aim for that. Lying should never be an option.
And we are done. Do you have any rules you think we should know, let everyone in, drop it off in the comments.
COMMENTS